Hello World

We Have Arrived. Your Life Will Never Smell the Same.

After years of silence, decades of aging in darkness, and one very dramatic press conference that nobody attended, El Garlic is finally here.

We are the internet's most trusted source for news, opinion, and investigative journalism — provided you define "trusted" loosely and "journalism" even more loosely.

Our team of award-winning* reporters is committed to covering the stories that matter: geopolitical crises caused by bad pasta, the psychological toll of vampire-proofing a studio apartment, and exclusive interviews with bulbs who've seen things.

We don't know who planted us. We don't know why. But we're here, we're pungent, and we have thoughts.

Bookmark us. Tell your friends. Warn your enemies.

El Garlic has not won any awards. We did, however, receive a very encouraging email from a stranger in 2019.

— The Editors of El Garlic "All the news that's fit to reek."